Time Wounds All Heels...

It’s, not surprisingly, a melancholy day today.

Yesterday was a mediocre one for Caitlin. Her seizures had been better, but that morning she woke up with a 7-minute seizure. It’s always a bad way to start the day. Yesterday was also the day for Caitlin to get fitted for her new Ankle Foot Orthotics (braces that help her stand and keep the bones and muscles in good shape). We go to a place in Aurora by Fox Valley Mall. It’s always a weird time. I spent some of my formative years in that area, so it’s strange to go back and see the changes. It’s also hard to believe that this will be Caitlin’s fourth pair. It seriously doesn’t feel like that much time has passed.

We really like the Orthotist there. He is a sweet man who is in a wheelchair. He is very gentle with Caitlin, and she adores him. It’s also nice to have somebody who sees her yearly. In some ways he can see her progress better than I can.

It was a hard moment for me when we left. A couple was entering as we were leaving. They were in their late 60s, and they were bringing in their daughter with severe disabilities who was probably a little bit older than me. There is always a knowing look between the parents of children with special needs. It’s an unspoken weariness and sadness. We all love our children, but this is a hard life. I can’t imagine still doing this when I am their age, but I know I will be. I love Caitlin too much to put her in an institution, and I don’t want to think about the other alternative that life could deal us.

Of course, everybody is aware of today’s anniversary. As a kid, I didn’t quite understand the whole “What we you doing when you found out that JFK was shot?” thing that Baby Boomers had. I certainly do now. My memory of 9/11/01 is still so clear in my head. I was at work at Bic when one of the other employees got the phone call from her husband about the first plane. I spent the next hour trying to get to a website that had the news. Only the USA Today site was working for us. I remember how the news kept escalating up until the Pentagon was hit. At that point I called Lynne to get her out of Yale, which suddenly felt like too viable a target. We were all let out of work early that day. Being business people in Milford, Connecticut, many of us had friends and loved ones in Manhattan.

Lynne and I spent the rest of the day watching TV in the same shock that everybody felt that day. We had a couple of friends over who didn’t have cable and spent our time flipping between CNN and BBC America. We didn’t lose anybody that day, but it hit us hard.

That was the night that we made the decision to have a child. It just felt like it was right to bring some life into the world after that. A few months later, Lynne was pregnant with Caitlin.